I was in 5th grade when I first heard the teacher say it. I was mesmerized, astonished and glad. She said “As hard as you work you get. So how hard you work you will get to do whatever you wish for. People appreciate good, hard working accomplishments.”. After that I felt like I was important, like I was capable of doing anything I set my mind to. Couple of years later I was on the dinner table, family all gathered and the discussion of jobs and carrier raised [of course I was 11 years old so I was automatically eliminated from the conversation] but I can still remember my mother answering with “I wish with all my heart that one of my children would grow up to be a doctor or a lawyer” I was set; something clicked I did not want to disappoint my mother I wanted her to be happy, I wanted people to see that mother is perfect; I hide my goal. I did all I can in school to be the best in science I started to get full grades in science subjects. I got to be fifth in my division and even fourth once. I worked day and night on science fair projects, I won third. I was ranked the best 7th Biology student in the country upon taking an advance test. I owned my future.
It was only when I was at 12th grade when I got hit by 2 catastrophes. First my mother strongly prohibited me studying abroad to study medicine as we lacked good medical school in my home town. My future as a doctor and the work of 6 years was just gone to waste. I was devastated. The second hit was when my physics professor stole my project where I created a low budget, easy to make robotic arm. And when I confronted him, he said “oh this” and just through it in the trash. To be honest he was not the only one as I saw students get better grade, win awards, get selected to represent the school just because they payed someone, or they know person in the inside. It was pathetic.
It was time to register for school and on top of everything time to choose a program. Depressed me, that always had plan A and never B did not know what to do so my father registered me as Computer Engineer at the American University of Sharjah as it looked like the best option to me. I was not happy, I am not happy. I did not like the school and over all did not like the program even after changing to Biology as I thought it was the closest to medicine [I was still attached to my old dream; as I was still attached to the lie that people get = to how much they work]. I worked hard in university and wanted to shine in the research field, do something, achieve something. But I think life was just laughing at me while I run towards a hurricane of lies blindfolded by the hope that I can achieve something. I received a lot of face slaps but the most significant one is when I participated in a competition to show case my invention [a medical vending machine] my professor offered to help me build it, he stopped returning my calls and when the submission deadline was 1 week ahead he told me that this project was a waste of time and that he can’t help me.. He could’ve said that earlier, so I would’ve looked for someone else to help me. But ….. Another incident was when I was nominated for National Geographic Photography competition, to only find that my photograph idea was stole and the person doing so won first place. Me being with only an Instagram pages to proof and 300 follows did not stand a change to sue the soul out of him. I can tell you stories of how people stole, refuse, and even told me that I don’t stand a chance because I’m no one. But the story that I want to end this all with is the story about my Biology professor Dr. nice guy. He is a narcissist not because I hate him because everyone knows he is, and a physiological test proves it. On the first assignment of Ecology he took off 11% of my final grade on mistakes such as unequal X & Y axis [as one was 5 cm on paper and there other was 6 cm] I still have the assignment. I went to his office and argued with him, and I can vividly remember him saying “My 12 year old son can do better job then you, you are not a scientist, you are not near one, and can never be one. I’m your professor and I can fail you if I want”. And he did, he did fail me Ecology and delayed my graduation by 1 semester.
Im not writing this post to rant my life out, but to say that we should not lie to children, life is not as simple. We don’t get our goals when wish upon a star, and differently not when we work harder then everyone else, because everyone else got their way up by paying or by help of other people they know. This is post is not to depress you [the read] it is to remind you about the truth and that it is “work hard to build good relationship with people, and you can be a neurosurgeon with a high school education.” So my apology Cinderella but prince charming has no time to look for your shoes.
I don’t know how many people read this blog but whoever you are thanks for taking the time to read it. You generate me 0.6$ on each visit.